Streets of Fire

On Set

Out of nowhere this week, I managed to snag a role as a Union soldier the set of Steven Spielberg’s new Abraham Lincoln movie. This was, apparently, payoff for the gobs of cash that Cristin and I have mercilessly blown into the stratosphere while eating and drinking at higher-end bars and restaurants around town, all in what has been a fruitless attempt to land a celebrity sighting in the big town of Richmond, Virginia. Production wrapped the other day in Richmond, so I figured it was over, my chances of a spotting were crushed. But the shoot itself wasn’t done; it moved 30 minutes south to Petersburg, then an inside tip came my way, and less than a day later I found myself on the set of an 1860s cityscape dressed as a Yankee. I didn’t really know what to expect going in as an extra, but I started thinking: what if I got there and they looked at me and were like, “Whoa, Ryan Gosling, why are you here? We didn’t realize you were in this movie. But here’s a uniform, so put it on and go over there and say something on camera and flex your rippling chest muscles.” And then I’d do that, and continuously get mistaken for Ryan Gosling, and get tons of hot babes, and make millions as an actor and get humorous blogs made about me. It wasn’t really that glamorous, in reality. In fact, as an extra, you are essentially the lowest form of human being on a movie set, herded around like cattle by a few guys who are paid to be complete dicks to you, though you aren’t “you”; you are a face in a crowd. Just do what we say, don’t look at the camera, and don’t any of you shit-pieces fucking touch a goddamn thing. I will write more about the experience at a later time, because I think you can get sued or something if you talk about it publicly (I didn’t read the contract just like I don’t read iTunes agreements). Needless to say I did get in some major, up-close star sightings of [WARNING: I’m about to do some heavy name dropping] Daniel Day-Lewis in full Abe Lincoln, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Steven Spielberg. It was an experience of a lifetime but quite honestly after the first couple hours I was done, and then I had 10 more to go and plus it was hard to pee while wearing that costume.