A buddy and I recently developed a business concept that we think is going places. It’s kind of hard to explain but I’ll dumb it down: you visit our website and buy a shirt, and then we’ll give a second shirt to a person in need in Africa or Mexico or someplace. Right now we are calling the business Tim’s Shirts. Neither of us is named Tim, or knows a Tim. It’s just the name of the company, kind of like how there was never a person named Nike, IBM, or Walt Disney.
Regular-neck, V-neck, Hawaiian or wife beater: you pick the type of shirt you want, then we’ll sell it to you and give one away to a poor person if we remember to do so. This aspect of the business will probably require setting a reminder on our phone or jotting down a note like “Send shirt to China or Africa” on a napkin or Post-It, as neither one of us is organized enough to keep track of that crap or enjoys doing charity things.
I also need to Google the addresses for China and Africa, and maybe Nebraska if that place has poor people who need shirts.
Also, before they are even considered, potential recipients of the free shirt will be asked to fill out an application with their name, address, annual household income and social security number so that we can make sure these people legitimately cannot afford to buy a shirt for themselves. They’ll also be asked to consider making a donation to Tim’s Shirts LLC as a thank you for our generosity.
Shipping fees will not be covered for the free shirt, so the recipient will need to pay for that. It’s probably only twenty or thirty bucks, so not like it’ll break the bank unless they are a complete loser or something.
Either way, the key thing to remember is that whenever you buy a Tim’s Shirt, someone, somewhere has a high probability of receiving a free shirt so long as they meet our requirements and aren’t like overly poor.
To get started, you can visit www.timsshits.com. We forgot the “R” when we were registering the domain and realized the error after it was too late. We’d have bought another URL but that would have cost more money, and plus I don’t remember the fucking login or password.
Perhaps, once the ball gets rolling, we’ll run a special sale where, say, you buy five shirts and we give away six. Such a promotion would need to be done in a way whereby we still make money even if we give away that extra shirt, because this is America and America wasn’t built on giving things away for free. While I’m at it I should also mention that any shirt you buy from Tim’s Shirts will be approximately double the price of a shirt you’d purchase elsewhere, as we have to cover the cost of a shirt that we might give to a kid we’ve never met in a place we’ve never been.
But when I sit down and really think about it, does anyone really not own a shirt? Not one? Plus, it’s not as if you actually need a shirt to cover your upper body. A blanket will do fine if it’s cold, or just go shirtless in warmer climates. Heck, an extra pair of pants will work if you get creative and tie them around your torso. People can live without a shirt.
We’ve actually run into this problem before as we were developing a similar business model, only with shoes. We were about to launch the business when we realized that everyone in the world already has at least six pairs in their closet, so why even bother with such a stupid idea?